Monika Suri

‘The Silver Lined Mommy’ It is an eBook which is a self-help book for middle aged women. A woman plays many roles –  wife , mother , daughter and a daughter-in-law . She handles endless responsibilities being a home-maker and a care-taker for her family . Amid all this , a woman’s personal priorities somehow take a back seat . And as she  steps into  the middle age group of her life i.e. around the age of forty , she notices some changes in her body and mind too . Fine wrinkles start appearing , hair start changing  their color to grey , some extra hair growth on face or may be some weight-gain  . She starts to meet a  little different woman  in the mirror. The middle age group also brings some hormone problems which may cause stress . From the author of ‘The Silver Lined Mommy’ Hi ! I am Monika Davessar – author of the  eBook ‘The Silver Lined Mommy’. I am running in my forties and by profession I am working as a lecturer for the last 19 years. Writing has become my i...

 Should you invest time in celebrating yourself ? Is it really  important to celebrate yourself ? If yes , what are the reasons and HOW tips ? We live in  a world which doesn’t pause or rest . Everyone of us is rushing . We are striving for accomplishments , success , growth and joy . See ! Joy comes at the last after accomplishments or success . Actually it has been so fixed in our minds that hard work and accomplishment leads to success . And success would then bring joy . There are people and media daily hitting your minds with the headings like – Achieve as much as you can in a day , Be productive , How to improve productivity , Work on your hobbies , fitness mantras , and what not . You just can’t count them . Everyone is working hard , but don’t you think that you forget celebrating yourself in the process ? When was the last time you paused and celebrated yourself ? Here are the 3 reasons we all should be celebrating ourselves . WHY ‘Celebrating your...

The # Covid19 outbreak forced the nation to go into lockdown . Schools , offices , markets are closed for the last many days  . Children are at home and other family members too , apart from those involved in essential services . Being primary care takers of family and home managers , women’s job has turned to be much more than the basic essential service during the quarantine period .  If you are a SAHM your responsibilities have been  doubled up because of more kitchen work and more family care . If you have been a working woman and now-a-days you have to work from home , your responsibilities have been  tripled up . Lockdown 2.0 has started and it’s time to go for Life management 2.0 for women . Woman and Quarantine Quarantine period brings more responsibilities for women More kitchen work Women , being the primary care taker of family , have to spend much more time in the kitchen , fulfilling demands of all family members . Maids’ help is a distant dream but demand...

I got to attend  a small get-together of few women at a friend’s house . In front of the sofa , she had kept a small white board on a table and it was written on the board – ‘Open your hearts’ I was the new to the group except one who was already my friend . Everyone started sharing their  lives . Happy , sad , troubles – everybody was saying whatever one wanted to . There were more of troubles as happiness is something we keep sharing everywhere – even to strangers on online social platforms . At last it was my turn and I also shared what my heart wanted to . (my friend had already told me that you can share without any fear , nobody reveals your words to anyone out of the group) There was nothing special  about ‘Open your hearts’ –No tambola , no gossip , no snacks but still a lot was there . Some times , there are some aspects of life which trouble us , scare us but we don’t want to talk of it . We pretend as if the trouble ...

At times , I encounter ‘not feeling good’ days in my life . The reason may be beacuse things didn’t go as i wanted or may be some other reason . I don’t know exactly why ,but those days are there . The day when I felt grumpy morning to evening   We often worry about our  physical well being ,  focus on our fitness ,  reach out to doctors when we face any health trouble , but we forget most of the times to  look after our emotional well being . Emotions OK , Let’s start with a simple question – Have you ever felt any of the following feelings ? Angry Joyful Frustrated Excited Yelling Crying Smiling for no reason You answered Yes , right ? Why not , a human is made up of emotions . These are all states of mind . If you are happy and  calm it means that everything on behavioural level is going on smoothly . But if you experience the negative emotions like anger , yelling , frustration , then there must be something that is not OK on the  behavioural...

बचपन याद करने बैठूं तो काले घने बादलों सा एहसास होता है एक माँ के इलावा कोई भी तो प्यार नहीं करता था मुझे माँ तो कभी ” मेरा प्यारा बच्चा ” कहकर चूम लेती तो कई बार मुझे गले लगाकर कहती ” दुनिया की सबसे खूबसूरत गुड़िया तो भगवान् ने मुझे ही दे दी “….. मैं भी माँ से पूरा ज़ोर लगाकर लिपट जाती थी । आँखें नम हो जाती थी माँ की ,इतना प्यार करती थी मुझे…. लेकिन घर के बाकी सब लोग , यहाँ तक कि बाबा भी मुझे “कलंक” कहते रहते थे , माँ को भी अक्सर सुनाया जाता “कलंक लगाकर रख दिया पूरे खानदान पर ” मेरा छोटा सा नादान सा मन समझ नहीं पाता था कि मैं दरअसल हूँ क्या —-एक खूबसूरत सा कलंक ? कलंक शब्द का मतलब भी तो नहीं समझाया  था स्कूल में मैडम ने । एक दिन स्कूल से लौटते हुए कुछ घृणित नज़रों ने मुझ पर वार कर दिया , घर आकर जब माँ को उन मैले हाथों व्  पहली बार अपने तन पर महसूस किये उस घिनौने दर्द का ज़िक्र किया तो माँ की दिल की धड़कन जैसे अचानक बढ़ गयी , आँखें खुली की खुली रह गयीं पर माँ ने मेरे होठों पर ज़ोर से ऊँगली दबाकर कहा ” चुप बस चुप मुँह पर ता...

Hi , Today is 4th March 2019 and it’s the sacred hindu festival Mahashivratri today . Lots of wishes to all of you on this day . ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ Happy MahaShivratri  Shiva – who is sometimes called bholenath and sometimes a destroyer ,   is shown in  Ardhnaarishwar form too where half of him is  Parvati-The Shakti . The Ardhnaarishwar form of God represents the union  of masculine and feminine energies of the universe .  As is birth and death , light and darkness , day and night , so is masculine and feminine . The masculine and feminine are qualities and don’t mean just male and female . God’s feminine energy is Parvati -The Shakti . When even the supreme power is incomplete without Shakti , how can a man be complete without a woman ? International Women’s day is approaching . As the month of March starts , there can be much read or listened about womanhood or feminism . People want to discuss about feminism or women more and more as it is ...

“ Women should pursue some hobbies , something that they do just for themselves .  When you have an identity , then people respect you else you could be taken for granted “   says the Bollywood great actress Madhuri Dixit . When it’s the women we are talking about , most of the women are just constantly busy performing their daily responsibilities , maintaining work-family balance , with hardly any time left for their own . If you ask any woman “What special did you do today for yourself ?” Answer would be in an astonishing gesture ” Just for myself ?? No No ….There’s no time left just for myself . ” If you ask any woman “Did you cook something of your choice in the past few days?” Answer would be ” I am a mother ,I have to cook as per my child’s or my husband’s wish otherwise they just don’t eat ” If you ask any woman “What is your hobby ?” The question just puts her in the thin...

Picture Prompt – A mother and a daughter talking to each other . Seeing this picture , my mind immediately related it with one of my own pictures with my daughter .   The relation of a mother and a child  is such a wonderful relation in this world . It won’t be wrong if I call a mother’s love as divine . The mother nurtures the baby for 9 months within herself and the bond so established is the purest , selfless and loving . No doubt , a mother’s love is the same whether the child is a son or daughter but I think the relation with a daughter becomes more friendly as she grows up . I have a daughter who is eleven years old now . I love watching her grow as she has started shopping for little things on her own, going to the  nearby market on her own ,collecting some money in her gullak and then asking me to accompany her to the bank where she tries to fill the bank deposit form herself . I love her even  more when she does her own make-up, wears my heels  and ...

“Bdhai ho Ladka hua hai ” everybody was so happy at my birth as my parents got blessed with a boy after many vows . Mom sometimes used to  dress me up even in frocks ,  putting on a bindi too  and playing with me out of  fondness of motherhood .   As I was growing , I never liked playing with the toy cars or bat-ball ,rather I would be happy playing ‘ghar-ghar’ with the girls in neighbourhood . I  would rub my mother’s lipstick on my lips  and play with her dupatta  all day long . As I grew to enter a school , my teachers noticed some unusual traits . My teachers called my parents and said ” Your son sometimes shows feminine traits ” Slowly everybody could notice  that I was showing bit  queer identity .  My mom now scolded me  if  I put on a bindi  or  asked for a dupatta .Once in a family function , one of my aunts asked me “What would you like to be when you grow up ? ” My quick answer was “I want to become Aai (mother)...

A piece of Fiction on “Uterus on Rent “ As he does it once every month  ,  Ajay left early from his office today because his son Sujoy had come along with him and it was a Dad’s promise to his son about one hour games time  at the Centra mall in the evening before they reach back home. ” Bye Sujoy , have fun at the Centra , Love you  ” almost everybody in the office has a friendly bond  with Sujoy   as the 4 year old  steals everybody’s heart by his  smile . At the mall ” O Hi Ajay , What a pleasant surprise ! How come you are here ? ” His colleague Manoj’s   sudden appearance didn’t please Ajay ” Just came for Sujoy to enjoy  the kids rides ”  Ajay replied in a formal voice trying to avoid him ” O I see , but ,  don’t you always take Sujoy to Centra mall , how come  today here at Waves mall ? ” Manoj’s  eyes were turning  around to look for  baby Sujoy when he suddenly  noticed him with a wo...

L stands for LOVE Motherhood is the greatest form of Love on this earth . The love which is pure and eternal . I think only a mother can feel how it feels to be a mother . God has gifted every woman with this wonderful  bond of Love . Thankyou God for the  gift of Motherhood (I am a Mom to a daughter who is eleven years old now .   Today I want to share  about  what I love about my gift of  Motherhood ) After I got married , I had to undergo abortion even before I celebrated my first anniversary . It was certainly depressing  but after around one year more , I conceived again . Since the day I saw her as a seed in my first ultrasound , I am in Love with my gift of motherhood . From that ultrasound  day to the day I delivered her and till today , I can feel the love rising . Her smiles are so real and hugs so pure that they automatically bring smile on my face , in my heart , in my soul . I love to care for her , even worry for her. You can read the post I wrote on my abortion  When she...

  To celebrate  International Women’s day which falls on 8th March every year  , I want to write a letter to my dear daughter , who will soon enter womanhood . Hi My dear daughter Suhani , 1.   You have turned 11 years old and now time will fly quickly to make you enter womanhood . No matter how old you turn , you will remain the  same cute little kid in your mumma’s eyes . You can come to me anytime  with any problem you face in your life . I will always be there for you, eager to hold you in my arms . 2.   Be good in your studies . Understand the concepts and enjoy your learning . Don’t be stressed in today’s competitive society . Even 80% marks are good enough . Just do your best and then don’t worry about the result . Don’t be disheartened if your friend gets admission in a good institute and you are not able to .  Your best efforts would definitely yield good results , if not here then somewhere else for sure . Enjoy the dignity of womanho...

    Within first year of my marriage , I had to undergo abortion.  It was followed by the feelings  of sadness, pain (more of sentimental), loss  and regret. A   loving bond  with my  unborn child that  had started nurturing , had to breakdown within  few weeks . Today I express my emotions  in this letter to my Unborn Child. A Letter to my Unborn Child  I held you inside me for few weeks ,but didn’t get a chance to hold you in my arms.  I felt your heartbeat  inside me , but couldn’t  welcome you in the world  outside. God didn’t give us a chance to cuddle  with each other , but  the memories of your little movements inside my tummy  are afresh in my mind.  Your little kicks didn’t hurt me but used to bring smile on my face. We were growing our emotional bond when God suddenly changed his plans. We were not allowed to continue our love for long but the bond we made even in those few weeks  , is  precious for me , and  it always would be. When Doctor la...

Yes I am fasting today . Today is the Karvachauth festival, which married Hindu women observe for their husbands . Yes I am fasting today , following all the traditions and customs .  But Why I fast on Karvachauth ? Sometimes my mind does doubt about what’s the real meaning of this day and what’s the logic behind. But overpowering my brain, my heart just loves to follow all the beautiful traditions for the man of my life. I am the girl who wears kurtis and leggings in routine, but prefers wearing a traditional outfit  on this day . The girl who doesn’t like wearing any jewellery, loves wearing mangalsutra on this day and feel proud too. The girl who , in routine , is always in sports shoes , is seen sentimentally smiling  to the chanchan sound of her payal  and toe rings. We do have arguments many times, even not talking to each other for days together, but still that love bond remains intact , rather it grows stronger. I am reminded of an incident of my life which hap...

  जानते हैं ? मेरी माँ केवल 10 साल की है , पर मैं अपनी माँ को पहचानती नही हूँ , ना ही मैं अपने पिता को  पहचानती हूँ। अरे , मैं क्या , मेरे पिता को तो मेरी माँ भी नही पहचानती । यह है हमारे समाज का एक काला डरावना सच । मात्र दस साल की  गुड़िया   , जिसकी अभी गुड़िया से खेलने की उम्र है , एक  नन्ही सी गुड़िया की माँ बन गयी । दस साल ? केवल दस साल की उम्र ??? सुनकर धक्का सा लगता है , अचंभा सा होता है , पर  ये सच है , हमारे समाज का एक डरावना सच ।  दस साल की एक लड़की का रेप हो जाता है , वो गर्भवती हो जाती है , गर्भपात करवाने की इजाज़त के लिए कोर्ट में अपील की जाती है , लेकिन इजाज़त नही मिलती । डॉक्टर कहते हैं  लड़की अभी वयस्क नही है  , इसलिए माँ और बच्चे दोनों की जान को खतरा हो सकता है ।   यह घटना पिछले साल चंडीगढ़ में हुई और उस दस साल की लड़की  (जिसे हम  गुड़िया कहें या रेप पीड़िता ? ) ने 17 अगस्त 2017 को एक नन्ही सी गुड़िया को जन्म दिया । आप सोच सकते हैं दस साल की उम्र क्या होती है ?  वो  नादान बचपन , वो मासूमियत से भरा दिल , अटखेलियां करने की उम्र ,  ज़िन्दगी के सुनहरे सपने , सब काले धुँए की तरह...

निशा दिल्ली में पली बढ़ी और उसकी शादी जयपुर के रहने वाले सतीश से हो गयी । कुछ सालों से  नौकरी की वजह से सतीश देहरादून  में रह रहा था । निशा ने भी देहरादून में ही एक छोटी से कंपनी में नौकरी कर ली थी । निशा अपने पति , अपने बेटे सागर का खूब ख्याल रखती , नौकरी पर भी जाती , और इसके अलावा जब उसे समय मिलता तो हिंदी मूवीज देखती व अपने लिखने के शौक के लिए वो ब्लॉगिंग भी करती । उसकी मनपसंद मूवी थी  “3 इडियट्स” , उसका मनपसंद  गाना  व  डायलाग Alllll is welllll  ,   जब कभी कोई प्रॉब्लम में फंस जाती तो इसी डायलाग से अपने मन को समझा लेती । वही रोज़ जैसा दिन था , सुबह सुबह की भागदौड़ , निशा किचन में खाना बना रही , टिफिन पैक कर रही थी , साथ साथ कभी बेटे सागर को नहलाती , उसे दूध देती , फिर खुद भी आफिस जाने की चिंता । उधर से  सतीश की आवाज़ आयी  ” निशा ….चाय बन गयी ?” “आज  चाय तुम खुद बना लो न सतीश , मैं आफिस के लिए लेट हो रही हूं ” निशा ने जल्दी जल्दी बेटे का बैग पैक करते हुए कहा । सतीश : “हाँ हाँ , मैं चाय खुद बना लूं और तुम तो उस रमेश के साथ ऑफिस में ही चाय पी...