Woman and Society's sabhyata

December 7 ,2019

Before I start , I would like to bring into your notice some of the incidents-little and big .

Incident no 1 : Yesterday somebody had posted a video of a wedding  on facebook .  Jaimala was going on and first was bride’s turn . She put the garland around the groom and then touched his feet . There were many comments particularly of men on that video like – Ye hote hain sanskar , Ye hai asli Indian sabhyata , Ladke ki to life ban gyi , kitni sanskari bahu mili hai ….and so on .

Incident no 2 : When I was a little girl I think I was in class 5^th , I was travelling with my mother in a local bus . I remember I was wearing a lemon colored  without sleeves  frock with my long hair open . A man , should I say an elderly uncle sat with us and I felt a strange   touch on my arms . The innocent me couldn’t say or explain anything but the only thing I knew was that  It felt bad .That day was my first experience of abuse ,although I  hardly understood the word  ‘abuse’ at that age . Judging his ill mind, my mother immediately got up and we shifted to some other seat.

Read The Orthodox society

Incident no 3 : I was in class 11 and I used to travel by local bus to my school . One day there was some strike and no bus came for more than an hour . After lot of waiting when a bus came there was already a crowd waiting to bump into the bus . I was also one of them . A man tried to take advantage of my skirt but neither could I  judge the accused in that crowd , nor did I have the courage to shout at that age . Hope #Metoo was the movement  that time too.

Incident no 4 : Few days back a veterinary doctor in Hyderabad was gang raped and then set to fire by few men . The men couldn’t control their lust and took advantage of the dark night , the isolated place and her  punctured scooter .

As always happens , the  country was  under ‘Wait and watch’ judgement but yesterday a relief news came that the culprits were killed in a police encounter .

No doubt the country , the girl’s family , all are happy but I would personally want an end to such culprits as brutal as their crime . The  pain of being made naked , penetrated  and then set on fire was hell lot of physical as well as emotional pain.

Unnao Rape victim set alive on fire

Incident no 5 : Today ,the Unnao rape victim  was set on fire by five men near her village. The accused threw kerosene on her and set her on fire when she was on her way to the court for the hearing of the rape case filed by her. She kept running in ablaze condition for about one kilometer . She ran , struggled to ask for help , dialled 100 also but finally her body quit .

You see ! the culprits are just not having fear of any kind . They are doing such barbaric acts without any thought . The punishment for  these culprits should be something which creates a terror  among all others too . I find ‘dehshat‘ a better word , let them feel the dehshat of a brutal torture as punishment . No mercy petition allowed .

Well these are just a few incidents. Daily  there are number of cases where a girl or a woman suffers one or the other kinds of abuse , the highest being the sexual abuse .

How many more Nirbhaya or Asifa or Disha ?

The so called modern society , a tech society , the biggest democracy , a progressing country , an independent integrated judiciary system ….what are these terms then ? These BIG terms cannot  even protect the dignity of a woman ? Why can’t she get respect everywhere ?

Yes! My dear society , I am a woman and  the only thing I want is – ‘Respect’. I want to receive ‘Respect’ as a gift from you all . That would be the biggest gift you can give me .

When the woman was touching the man’s feet in Incident no 1 , didn’t she also deserve respect in reciprocation ? In Hindu religion , husband is considered as Pati Parmeshwar and the woman touches her husband’s feet out of respect .  People are talking of sabhyata .The woman showed her sabhyata but when two people are getting married , they are uniting , don’t both of them deserve equal respect ? Notice what  people commented  – ye hai Indian sabhyata .

You are talking of sabhyata . Do you even know its meaning ?

Sabhyata my foot ! Where does that sabhyata go when a man looks at  a girl  head to toe with bad eyes ? O my God – Those dirty looks rip off the girl’s  soul .

I think each and every woman has had one or the other experience of this kind  . For your wife , mother or daughter You have different definitions of sabhyata and for a woman on the street you forget everything and a demon appears out of you . O sorry I forgot …some men don’t even spare their infant or young daughters .

Man , Where did your  sabhyata go when you saw a woman in trouble at night ? Couldn’t you  repair her scooter and help her reach home safely ? No you didn’t do it rather

you showed your real sabhyata by raping her . Because your sabhyata , your brain , your mind , all reside in your penis . Yes that’s what you always listen to .

In 2012 she was also a doctor –  a physiotherapist who was gang raped in a Delhi bus . The six men in the bus fearlessly ripped her off . The major accused had inserted  iron rods in her vagina  . Can you even imagine the trauma and pain  she must have  experienced ?  She wanted to struggle and survive but her body could struggle only for few days . But the accused are still surviving .  It’s been seven years of Nirbhaya but ‘Wait and Watch’ condition still exists. Hoping for a hanging soon !

There are around 20000 rape cases in India every year , 250-300 acid attacks , and innumerable cases of molestation ,eve teasing or any other kind of abuse . Many many of them still get hidden under the cozy blanket of  woman’s sabhyata .

Dear Men ,  I am a woman , a human being just like you all . Just like you   I also deserve  ‘Respect’. I don’t want you to advise me how I should dress up , I don’t want to feel scared of the darkness , I don’t want to avoid travelling  alone . I want respect and safety at all the times .

Actually you have never felt those dirty glances, those ill comments or the bad touches . You never have to give a second thought before you are to go somewhere – alone or in the dark . You have never encountered the words –abuse , assault , rape or  danger in your life . You have connection only with the words – ego , lust .

Men you are torturing a woman sometimes to satisfy your ego and sometimes your lust .  Don’t you ever feel ashamed what you are doing ?

Woman  is the creator of this world .  Guru Nanak Dev Ji had said:

“So kyo manda aakhiye jit jamhe rajaaan” 

Please do not use a woman . Respect her .When she is feeling scared in the dark  , can’t you help her reach  home safely ? When you see another man giving dirty glances to a girl , can’t  you dare give him a slap? When you find a woman beautiful , just praise her don’t attack her . Can’t you control your sexual appetite ?

In your family too , don’t try to demean your wife or sister. Don’t  vomit  your alcoholic rage on her .

Please respect a woman . Make small efforts to show her that she is loved and  respected . Respect her emotions , her love , her body , her soul .That’s the only gift she demands – ‘Respect’

I am submitting this post as part of #wordsmatter and prompt for the month of December was ‘ If I could receive one gift ‘  I received the tag from https://thevagabond.me/ and I am passing on the tag to http://www.icdreams.in/